Quantcast
Channel: Monster Be Good » absurdist advice columns
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 39

Ask I: “I Must Have Surgery?”

$
0
0

Q: I socialize with ants and dress sexy. I must have surgery?

A: I can relate to three hours of walking a block to make sense.

Inch sure-footed without looking down.

Adjust your pitch the way the angle will determine where a platform can tip.

With strategic comfort, provide a plain watch for skinny toes.

Don’t forget walking slightly larger in a little room.

Expand a few hours of standing up and down.

While you walk, look for foam balls creating a burning sensation.

Your podiatrist may consider feet fleshy.

Get fit by padding.

Be an experiment.

Wear the house, carpeting for an hour!


blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, The Wall Street Journal, 3/7/13.

in situ, below:

blackout



Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 39

Trending Articles